I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize