Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
