I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
