id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
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The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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