Redeem this text for a blowjob
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
