How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
