They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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