I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
