I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
