There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My dick has a subreddit
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize