you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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