my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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