This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
