I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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