I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
