Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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