Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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