brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
