I hate all girls vehemently.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Randomize
