college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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