I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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