i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
