when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
