first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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