Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
