where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
