It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
