Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
