You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
it was like eating out sand paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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