I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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