420 ftw
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
