she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
