i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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