Don't you send me to vm
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
