I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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