Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
