cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
