Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Pants are for mortals
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
