u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just want nice things and good sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize