arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
not ubering you a puppy
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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