we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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