The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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