i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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