Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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