Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
