bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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