I smell stomach acid.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
