oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
