He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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