do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize