Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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