Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
