Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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