You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
