Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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