He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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