I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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