Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?