I cut my penus on the lid.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
