im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We talked him into tasing himself.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.