That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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