It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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