I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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