Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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